Chairdrobe and messy thoughts

In my life chairdrobe is a natural occurrence. According to the urban dictionary a chairdrobe is the art of piling clothes on a chair to be used in place of a closet or dresser. It also says  If a chair is not available one can always defer to a floordrobe. Both exists in my room, though I have a wardrobe. I have enough space to put all my cloths in but I always lean towards a chairedrobe whenever an empty chair is available in my room. As a result I don’t have a place to sit other than my bed. Sounds silly but it’s a real problem. My room is a mess. So is my life. I have everything one might need but I still can’t get anything done. I know for someone with depression and anxiety, even getting out of bed is sometimes difficult. But no matter How difficult things get for me, the earth won’t stop spinning. Time won’t slow down. Even if I stay still nothing will stop moving forward. It’s just me who’ll stay behind. Now I’m too tired to move. One day I might be incapable of moving at all. So no matter how tired I’m now, I’ll have to move forward. May it be at the pace of a sloth or a snail- forward it is I’ll have to go.

Then again thinking about my life’s future, past and the meaning of my existence are all too High-level-deep stuff that if continues for too long might hurt my fragile weak brain. Also these are things I can’t control or create now. So I should refrain from wondering about these and focus on whats right in front of me – chairdrobe. My room is like a piece of charcoal. No matter how much I wash it, black is all that remains. I want my room to look like a place where humans live. I want to step on the floor and not at the things on the floor. I need to get things in order in order to get my life in order. Does this line make sense? Maybe, maybe not. The software I usually write on is unavailable now. So I can’t understand all the mistakes I’m making. I’m just trying to write as accurately as possible. Should a person who can’t keep their own room in order be in charge of responsibilities at work? I’m not sure. Then again I was able to hold down a job and get things done, mostly.

Now the only entertaining thing is my nephew who received a skateboard. He’s not good at skateboarding so he just sits on the board, moves around pushing his hands on the floor while saying, “Vroom vrooooom,” pretending to drive a car.

Reading through the whole thing again I realize that my mind must be as messy as my room if not more.

3 Comments Add yours

  1. The way to get somewhere, anywhere, it’s to take the first step. You can do it!

    Liked by 1 person

    1. kundo says:

      Yes. But the first step is always the most difficult to take. Thank you. I hope I can do it too.

      Liked by 1 person

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